Introduction
This article explores why I’ve chosen to move to Berlin, based on my experience since the outbreak of Covid. Nothing fixed yet, everything in flux, which is why I am incredibly excited about this new journey.
As I write this, all I have is a short-term housing contract in Charlottenburg, Berlin, a one-way flight ticket, and a resume reflecting three years of experience as a Software Engineer.
Since Covid
When Covid emerged, I lost my job as a tour guide. I was set to travel to Rome. BOOM. No flights meant no tourists. The company that hired me hadn’t encountered this sort of issue, so they didn’t know how to handle this, which put me in the breakdown. I wrote a post(Korean) about it.
Long story short, I transitioned to become a Software Engineer and have worked with four different companies, including start-ups and larger ones that have reached Series E funding, for the past three years. For those curious about why I switched jobs(Korean)
Now, you might be wondering what this has got to do with my decision to move to Berlin. Let me walk you through it.
Getting Better
Yes, getting better. Will to get better. Even when I battled anxiety and depression, I was fully conscious of this. Thing is, I didn’t know how to get better.
My remedy was stepping out of my comfort zone. I took small steps, even though they seemed nothing. I endeavoured not to focus on the end results but rather to adapt to the journey of getting better.
We often tend to highlight something significant and noticeable, but this can only bring pains when those goals aren’t met. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have goals. What I’m advocating is setting a goal and then appreciating the human experience of progress towards it.
Here’s my story.
I began running last year, pushing myself to run 3k runs at a 5'00"/km pace, with my heart rate up to Zone 5 (+190bpm), which isn’t quite enjoyable. Something felt off. I wanted to get better, so pushed harder, thinking that getting out of my comfort zone meant running harder and faster. But this approach only caused physical pain and left me stuck in a cycle of I DO NOT MOVE and DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET OUT. I eventually quit running.
This summer was quite a challenging period. I realised that I needed a daily routine outside of work. I returned to running. Fortunately, I stumbled upon a video pointing out the importance of Slow Runs. It taught me to appreciate the surroundings, focus on each breath I take, and feel every step. Now, I don’t give a s**t about how fast I’m running, I’m more interested in the beauty of the Han River, the relief of overcoming foot pain through trainings and stretching, and the gratitude for living life on my terms. These all small, but they keep me motivated to run and aim to go further, not faster. This is one of the ways of leaving my comfort zone little by little. Consequently, I now run 3–4 times a week, covering an average of 5km at a mild pace. Hopefully, I will be able to run 10km by the end of autumn.
The Divide and Conquer algorithm comes to mind. The Divide and Conquer algorithm is a problem-solving technique that involves breaking down a complex problem into smaller, more manageable sub-problems. I resonate with the philosophy behind it, because it applies to quite everything in my life.
Workplace Reflections
When you work, at least you want something better. It could be thousands and millions of kinds from person to person — higher salary, career success, supportive leadership, or creating impactful products and numerous other objectives.
After all, it all boils down to communication. The workplace is on the verge of crashing with burning desires. The thing that binds individuals is trust. Overcoming skepticism among colleagues by understanding the others’ Will to get better is the key. This understanding humanises us and ensures we are not machines automated to target only speed and accuracy. Human trust is built on the common sense that we all have desires. The only way to find out this truth is through communication.
As a Software Engineer, needless to say, I’m drawn to solid system architecture to ensure that services run smoothly. However, through my experiences in different workplaces, I’ve also discovered that I feel more satisfied from the communication when building products with team mates. I enjoy asking questions that encourage them to voice their thoughts and opinions on every aspect we face at work, which isn’t quite the case in Korean culture.
We are not machines; we are humans. A leader just ordering what to do is not enough. A goal requires division and conquering process through effective communication and attentive listening because, as the saying goes, the devil is in the details.
Finally, Berlin
Last summer, I visited my parents to celebrate my father’s birthday. I was still on the fence, trying to decide whether I should go to Berlin or not. My mind was full of doubts: ‘what if’, ‘but’, ‘so’, and more.
Out of the blue, I spotted a diary on the bookshelf. I couldn’t resist pulling it from the mess. As I flipped through it, found something that I had written three years ago when I had lost my job without even trying. All the negative emotions and cursing words in an attempt to harm myself back then ironically reassured me. ‘Yeah, life is worth giving a try’.
Towards the end, it goes
… I might feel directionless at the moment because I lost my job. However, I see this as an opportunity to explore what I truly desire from the depths of my heart. Secure a job, earn some money, an then go to Berlin.
Reading this cleared the air for me. There was no need to justify to others why I’m going to Berlin based on rational reasons. It was a conversation between my past self and me in 2023, transcending time that doesn’t truly exist.
Therefore, I decided to go
- to attain a state of harmony in cosmic vitality
- to feel the inexplicable things beyond logic
- to immerse myself in the world of art
employing the algorithm Divide and Conquer.
